My True Religion

Disclaimer: Please note that these are my personal beliefs which are very different from the LDS faith and may be offensive to some. If you are offended easily, I suggest you read this post anyway because I think I make some valid points. You have been warned :)

I grew up in Bountiful, UT where the LDS church is very present, as is the case with most cities in Utah. This post is for me to explain the reasons why I left the church. It's a struggle for both me and my husband that we have friends and family that are very strong believers in the LDS faith, but have a hard time accepting our differing beliefs.

Quite frankly it's insulting to me, that because I left the church, some of my friends and family don't think I am truly happy...not all, but some. They think I have "lost my way" and that I will never be truly happy without the church. And it's rather annoying and offensive. I find myself constantly acquiescing to the LDS culture and being careful about what I say to others...even though what I say isn't meant to be offensive, it's simply what I believe. Instead of just realizing that I believe the way I do for good reason and being happy for me that I have a good life, members of the church will often feel sorry for me when they shouldn't.
My mother, for example, is very happy being LDS. It's good for her to be a part of a community and to have something to believe in. And I am happy for her that it makes her happy.

Religion has never been a priority in my life. I remember being very young and thinking to myself: "There are thousands of religions out there, all very different from each other. The followers of each church believe their church to be the one "true church"...some of whom would be willing to die with that faith! So how can it be there is only one "true" religion?" The answer to that is very simple...there is no such thing as a true religion, it does not exist. There have been multiple wars and numerous unnessary deaths because of religion. Just think, if people could have just accepted that everyone's different and agreed to just live and let live. Thousands of lives would have been spared. Now, having said that, I would never tell someone to leave their faith. Many people need that structure and they need something to believe in. I, however, am not in that group of people. I feel that I have enough structure on my own.

I'll give some Q and A examples:

Q: If you don't believe in God/Heaven, how do you find peace?

A: Fist off, I would just like to make it clear thatI am not an Athiest at all, and that I am very much Agnostic. I believe that there is some sort of creative being. I like to think that there is a Heaven that we go to after we pass on, and that we get to see all our loved ones who have passed before us and everyone looks amazing...but I can't honestly say I know that will happen. If there isn't a God or a Heaven, I simply believe that we just die, and everything goes black...and it won't be sad because we will have no existance, therefore we will have no feeling, so it won't matter. In some ways it's the perfect answer to anything!

The church teaches us that God gave his only begotten son to be crucified so that all of our sins may be forgiven. Stop right there...WHAT?! If he was a gracious, all-powerful God, then why couldn't he just forgive all the sins himself? Why did his son, Jesus Christ have to suffer?
Another example: Why would a loving God tell Moses to tell everyone that unless they kill a sheep, and put it's blood above their door, that God would come in and smite their innocent first born? Seriously? What happened if the parents of those innocent children didn't get the memo? Too bad for them? I'm sorry, but that is just sick and twisted.

Q: If you believe there is no God/Heaven, then what is our purpose on this earth?

A: What is the purpose of the millions of fish in the ocean? Are they going to be judged based on how they live their life? How well they swim? How gullible they are? Is there a specific spot in fishy heaven for them? Probably not.
The LDS faith tells us that we're put on this earth as a test, and that we will be placed in a certain spot in heaven based on how we live our lives on earth. So if that's true, is that determined by how many times a day we pray? How much good we do for others? How many times we go to the Temple? If we drink coffee, tea and wine will we even make it to heaven? What is this belief based on? I mean, it's a bit absurd when you think about it.
I think we're put here on earth to live. Our purpose is to live our lives the best we can and hope that things turn out for the best. The important thing is to be a good person, be honest and kind, and live life to the fullest!
If God were a just god, he wouldn't limit heaven to one specific group. My god wouldn't care how much people worshiped him. He would be far mor concerned with other things going on like war, or natural disasters. Instead of being narcissistic and insisting that everyone worship him, he would want us to be doing good for others. But hey, that's just me.

Q: Did you decide to leave the church because of the people or the rules?

A: Absolutely not. I left because I don't believe there is a true religion. I simply don't believe the church doctorine. I think Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were not very good people. I don't think they were evil. But here's what happened. Joseph Smith tells everyone that God, himself came to him and told him to start the church. So he supposedly translated the Book of Mormon and created a religion. Then there's Brigham Young who wasn't a very nice person. He had several wives and treated them like dirt. Plus he was also a racist...really? Things have changed over time with the LDS faith. Garments are more lenient, African-American members are now allowed to be sealed in the temple and hold the Preisthood. A few years ago 2 piercings in a woman's ear was suddenly unacceptable, declared by Gordon B. Hinkley. Also, flip flops were no longer an option for church attire. Some of these things are just stupid if you ask me. I'm pretty sure God has greater concerns than 2 piercings in woman's ear. But that's just my take on the matter.

I didn't leave because of the people in the church. I grew up in an exceptional ward. I was lucky to have wonderful neighbors and ward members that treated my family with love and respect. They have always been there when we needed help, and they even threw me a beautiful bridal shower last year before my wedding. So clearly the people weren't the reason for my leaving. I love the ward that I grew up in, always have always will. I learned a lot of good things from them that have carried over into my day-to-day life, and I will always be greatful for that.
However, there are some people who take it upon themselves to judge others negatively by their lifestyle, and that doesn't mesh well with me at all. Everyone is different and a specific lifestyle isn't meant for everyone. It's like I was saying earlier, some people in the church honestly think I'm lying about my happiness, and that I am secretly unhappy or lost without the church....which is total bologna. I'd be nice if they could accept me for the person that I am and be genuinely happy for me, as I would be for them if they told me they were happy in the church.
Also, I like to drink every now and then, and I see nothing wrong with smoking once a week. It may not be the best thing for your health, but that doesn't make it "morally wrong". It's a little taboo and relaxing, which makes it all the more fun. Moderation in all things.

I moved in with Kory a few months before I married him, and it was one of the best damn decisions I ever made. Here's how I look at it: Would you buy a car without test-driving it first? Of course not! The same goes for me in a life partner (which is far more important than a car if you ask me). And garments, as attractive and convenient as they are, I think I'll pass. But like I say, to each their own. Nothing wrong with difference of opinion.

Q: How can you support gay marriage when it is morally wrong?

A: BECAUSE IT'S NOT MORALLY WRONG! Telling them that they are an abomination to the human race is morally wrong! Love is love and it doesn't matter if it's a man and woman, woman and woman or man and man. Love is love PERIOD!!! I have a very hard time with people who are anti-gay/lesbian, because who are they to judge? Saying that being gay is a moral sin, is like saying being black or asian is a moral sin. Take it from someone who has several gay/lesbian friends and has actually had in-depth discussions about this topic: They don't choose to be a minority group and to be looked down by others. They are who they are and they can't help it. People who say otherwise are flat out wrong! I understand that some don't understand it, hell I don't understand it either. I've never been sexually attracted or fell in love with a woman, so I don't understand what it's like. But forcing YOUR lifestyle on all of society is wrong! For example: I can't help the fact that I am caucasian and straight...I just am, and I can't help that. If a man wants to marry another man or a woman to a woman, he/she should be allowed that right! It states in the Declaration of Independance and I quote"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." So, regardless of personal belief, it is simply un-American to ban gay marriage!
Multiple religions are very anti-gay, so because of so-called "moral" beliefs, gays can't be married in most states (side note...HURRAY for New York legalizing gay marriage!). But why do THEY need to conform to the norm? Why can't people just except that we are all different, but we are all created equal?!
If we allowed gays/lesbians the same rights that everyone else in America is entitled to, guess what would happen? We would be a better, more tolerant country! And we would be staying true to the words of our Founding Fathers! And guess what? There would be a decrease of unnecessary suicides, an increase of happy people in the U.S. and equality for all! Imagine that! Heaven forbid we take any steps to create a nation where everyone is accepted for who they are.

Because of ridiculous intollerance, there are thousands of unnessecary suicides of wonderful people, all because they live in a world where they are not accepted for who they are! How sad is that? If you are a hater, shame on you!

To those of you that say being gay is a choice: You are clearly ignorant to the fact that everyone is different. Let me tell you a true story about a good friend of mine who's mom is a lesbian. My friend's mom got married to her husband in the LDS temple, sealed to him, had 3 beautiful children and got sealed to all of them. She was faithful to her husband for 17 years, all the while KNOWING it wasn't what she wanted. It was what the church TOLD HER she wanted. Luckily this woman was smart enough to do the right thing and admit to herself that this lifestyle was not for her. She came clean to her husband and children, and they are all very accepting of her new lifestyle and love her all the same.
As opposed to another friend of mine. One of the sweetest most loving men I've ever met, whos parents who kicked him out of the house at the age of 17 when he came out of the closet because they couldn't accept that their son was different. Of course, these parents were stout Mormons. And luckily he had a loving sister who took him in and let him live with her.

If you have Netflix, I STRONGLY encourage you to watch the documentary called "8 The Mormon Proposition". I won't get into the details, but if you watch it, you'll see why I have such strong feelings about this particular issue.

All you Christian/religious people out there...think about this: What would Jesus do? Would Jesus cast gays/lesbians aside like garbage and say that they can't go to heaven because of personal choices? No! Jesus taught us to love one another. Not "Love thy neibor, but only if he/she conforms to the norm." Do you see my point? I have absolutely no tolerance for intolerance! I consider myself open-minded, but I'm not open-minded to being rude or closed-minded.
You can look at one of my older posts "My views on the LDS church". It's a converstion I had with my friend Jason on IM, we talked about religion and I explained to him some of my views, some of which have changed a bit since then, but you'll get the idea.

Q: Well, maybe you haven't done enough research, so how can you have these opinions?

A: I've done all the research I need to form the opinions I have now. Again, no such thing as a true religion. It's literally impossible. Blind faith doesn't make something true. I believe that religions are formed to help people. A lot of people don't have a lot of structure in their life, so they look to religion for that structure. I however, don't need that kind of structure. I am extrememly happy in the life I live. I have a good job, a wonderful, faithful, loving husband, a cute dog, a great little condo (that I own) in a good area, a nice car, nice clothes, great friends and family...I mean, what more could I honestly need? I would love to be rich someday, but going back to church is never gonna help me achieve that. In fact, if I went back to church I would just loose 10% of my monthly income...so no thanks! When I was younger and forced to go to church, my Bishop used to lie to me and say that if I paid a full tithing that I would "magically" be richer, what a croc!

Now, having said all the things I just said...I want everyone to know that I don't hate the church. I really don't! I simply have differing beliefs. The LDS church does SO much good in this world. I love the fact that they are one of the first organizations to show up at a natural disaster to help clean up and provide necessary materials and services. They have helped thousands, maybe millions of people and I love that! I love that they put an emphasis on family values. Family is extremely important to me! I love my family and can't wait to start one of my own with Kory someday :)

So yeah, there it is. Take me or leave me ;) These are just my humble opinions and I am sorry if I have offended anyone, but I have no control over that. If you choose to be offended at anything I said, that is your perogative. Please know that my intentions are NEVER to hurt anyone, or even prove them wrong. But I'm at a point in my life where I am tired of keeping my mouth shut or being too vague for the fear that I might offend someone. I've always avoided conflict throughout my life and I still try to avoid it at all costs, but living in Utah, this is an issue that can no longer be avoided or ignored. I am who I am for good reasons, and I'm not going to sugar-coat my beliefs for anyone anymore. I consider myself to be a strong young woman with good values and integrity. I believe in being honest, true to yourself, and good to others, and I hope that translates thorough my daily actions.

I feel that the key to good communication is being open, honest and understanding. Sometimes the best thing to do is agree to disagree, and that is perfectly normal and ok. Not everything has to be a battle between right and wrong. I'm very open-minded and would love to hear anyones thoughts about this topic. If you have any questions about anything I've said, I would be more than happy to answer them :) Thank you!

Sincerely,

Michelle Baldwin ♥

By far the BEST day of my life!

The happiest day of my life! Kory and I were married on September 2, 2010. Our puppy, Onyx was even there. It was perfect ♥